Two Trends I Think Are Making Us Worse

There are two modern habits I cannot quite get comfortable with.

Dishwashers. And reality TV.

I am not anti technology. I am not suggesting we go backwards. I just think two very normal things have quietly shifted how we connect, and not necessarily for the better.

Let me start at the sink.

Washing dishes by hand takes ten minutes. Fifteen if someone got ambitious with a roast. It is not glamorous work. It will not change your LinkedIn profile. But it creates something small and useful.

One person washes. One person dries.

You stand shoulder to shoulder. You pass plates back and forth. There is rhythm. Repetition. The soft clink of cutlery. It is simple, almost boring.

And that is exactly why it works.

I have noticed that men in particular talk more easily when we are doing something. Not sitting across from each other in a formal check in. Doing something. Fixing a gate. Fixing the car. Washing and drying dishes.

When one washes and one dries, there is no spotlight. No pressure. You can ask, “How was your day?” and it does not feel loaded. You can mention something that bothered you without making it a big announcement.

The task acts as cover.

Over time those ten minute exchanges add up. Not deep therapy sessions. Just steady deposits. Micro moments of connection.

It reminds me of The Karate Kid. Mr Miyagi getting Daniel to paint the fence. Wax on, wax off. At the time it looked pointless. Repetitive. Slightly irritating. Only later did you realise the repetition was wiring something deeper.

Washing and drying dishes together is a bit like that. You think you are just clearing the bench. In reality you are building a pattern. Familiarity. Proximity. A shared rhythm.

Press a button on a dishwasher and that rhythm disappears. Efficient, yes. But now everyone scatters. Different rooms. Different screens.

Which brings me to reality TV.

After a full day of real life, real decisions, real pressure, we sit down and watch manufactured conflict. Shows like Married at First Sight Australia are engineered for tension. Betrayal. Emotional spikes.

At some point we stopped watching for the humour and started watching for the drama.

Our brains are not neutral. They rewire based on repetition. Feed them outrage and spectacle night after night and they get good at expecting outrage and spectacle. We are training our neurons without realising it.

Meanwhile the person beside us is quiet because we cannot talk during the show.

It feels strange that we would choose scripted conflict over unscripted conversation with someone we actually know.

I am not calling for a ban on dishwashers. I still use ours. I am not pretending I have never watched an episode.

I am just saying this.

One person washing. One person drying. Ten minutes. No phones. No soundtrack. Just passing plates and passing thoughts.

It looks ordinary. It is ordinary.

But like paint the fence, the ordinary repetition might be doing more good than we think.

Two trends. Both convenient. Both widely accepted.

I am not convinced either is making us better.